I find it very encouraging that the number of single mothers, acting from their wise initiative, increases year by year in Western society. Matriarchy can develop in the home of the single mother. There is a revolution taking place, namely the birth of such a matriarchy, a social system where women apply their caring authority as head of the household. Beginning in the home, such matriarchal authority is leading onto various social and political institutions to transform society.
Matriarchy comes naturally in response to war, social and domestic conflict. The unwise and discriminatory wielding of power and control mirrors the dark shadows of a patriarchal society. We have lived in these shadows for far too long. If our politicians, religious leaders, social scientists and journalists could listen to the “loving mother” figure inside of themselves, we would live in a different world.
We are finally breaking away from the tightly controlled unit of “the family” – a fixation that the three Middle Eastern religions, politicians wielding patriarchal power, orthodox social sciences and readers of conservative newspapers cling to with a narrow-minded determinism. In this concept, the “family” primarily consists of husband, wife and children. Church, politicians and media stereotype single mothers and their children as strong examples of the failure of society, and the willingness of the mother and father to stay together. They believe separation of mother and father brings painful consequences to the children instead of realising that lack of love and wisdom brings painful consequences.
Let us also applause single fathers , equal parenting, and all formations of families totally dedicated to the loving upbringing of their children.
Single mothers tell me regularly that, as the single head of the household, they often have more time to offer their children love, presence and guidance. Some of the mothers tell me that their ex partner/husband worked all day and slumped in the front of the TV or computer at night. “It was like having an incapacitated child to look after,” one mother told me. More and more women establish a caring matriarchy in the home for their children rather than live in tension with the man in the house or live with a man who offers little or no support at home.
You might think that this lets the father of the children off from their responsibilities. Far from it. Children need very regular contact with their father, or a father figure. (The father figure can be a woman). This contact gives real support to the matriarch of the household, as well as the children. The father/father figure offers love, play, time, practical support and money as a mature response to the upbringing of the children. Some single mothers go it all alone. That’s tough. We have to find ways to support mothers who feel isolated.
If children lack such support of the father figure, there is a possibility that the child may engage in idolisation of the father submitting in teenage and adult years to unwise voices of authority or react against any authority. This can lead to withdrawal, agitation or violence. Contact with a a genuine father figure brings the archetype of the father down to earth.
As the centrifugal force, the single mother holds together the household. The precious factor of the Queen Bee needs her workers – as part of the support team including father/father figure of the children, their grandparents, relatives and friends to make the whole process of bringing up children be as loving, creative and dynamic as possible, even when government makes the poor pay for government/corporate mismanagement.
It is important to develop networks of single mothers living in the same area to share the challenges to develop a matriarchal society with love as its foundation, not power.
Let us appreciate wholeheartedly the development of single mother households.