Dharma Reflections

I attended for the third year the five day Buddhafield Festival near Taunton in Devon, England, last month along with 2500 others. Where else can a dharma teacher go and give an hour or two of teachings in the morning and afternoon, hang out with dharma friends, find shady spots to read a book, and dance in the evening? FWBO provide us with a marquee, called Dharma Inquiry, where we offer teachings. Jane Blissett and Jeanette Karlsson from Brighton, Ken Street and Rick Lawrence from Totnes, all participants in the Dharma Facilitators Programme and myself put on a programme between us in the morning and afternoon. …

Tea and StrawberriesRead More »

WALK THE TALK

I remember listening to Jaya (Ashmore) give her first Dharma talk during our first Dharma Gathering in Sarnath, India in February 1999. Sitting besides me was Nina from Sweden, my partner at the time. At the end of the talk –(on the nature of inter-connectedness, inwardly and outwardly), Nina turned to me and laughed: “Christopher, you’re history. I have a new guru. Her name is Jaya.” Don’t laugh. She meant it. …

Walk the TalkRead More »

‘I NEED TO LISTEN TO MYSELF.’ Are you sure?

A woman friend and I had a lengthy exploration together of the issue involving ‘self and other.’

Her voice had echoes of very similar voices that I hear frequently.

In a nutshell, here is what she said to me: “I have spent years listening to others. I have made so many sacrifices for my relationship and family.  …

‘I NEED TO LISTEN TO MYSELF.’ Are you sure?Read More »

I wrote on the blog a few days ago about Naikan Therapy that asks three core questions to resolve inner issues about somebody else. Remember there is no 4th question in the Naikan approach!

I reflected on the value of this approach and came up with six questions for people in an intimate relationship. The questions can serve as a simple checklist. They are down to earth, practical and not idealistic.

1. Is there trust when we are together and when we are apart?
2. Is there a deep friendship between us?
3. Do I enjoy the different levels of intimacy we share?
4. Am I willing to acknowledge and explore the different expressions of my partner’s love?
5. Am I willing to acknowledge and explore the different expressions of my partner’s hindrances to love?
6. Am I willing to acknowledge and explore in myself further expressions of love and examine my hindrances to love?

If you say YES to all six, then you are blessed with a loving, deepening and expanding relationship.
What if one or more of these questions remain unresolved, rather than just temporary blips?
If you say NO to one or two, then your relationship certainly needs some reflection, and a change of attitude.
If you to say NO to three, four or five questions, then there is a lot of inner work ahead.
If you say NO over a period of time to all six questions? Forget it. Start a new life.